Daily Intention: July 25th, 2023:

The main thing that I asked myself during meditation this morning was what can I do to get back on track? The answer came in three words. Structure, schedule, community. Which is correct, I do better in a structured environment in a community that supports my goals. In a community that has similar goals that I do. The last time I had something like this, I had a roommate that was on a similar path that I was. I ended up dropping out of that particular program, because I lost the drive for it. That was herbalife. I ended up losing over 75 pounds while I was on that product. Right now I fluctuate between the same starting point in about 10 pounds heavier. I know that it takes dedication, I know that it takes persistence, and I know that the best chance of success for me would be to have a community or at least a group of people around me that support me in this endeavor. This morning's guidance came from two decks. One was the Brady tarot, which is a Tarot deck that is privately published. I do believe it is in another edition. I really love the deck. And the ancestor Spirit Oracle.

( Daily Oracle & Tarot Draw )

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Channeled Guidance: The Dynamics of family hurt and it made you feel like dirt. The retreat was necessary to the query. Now is the time to maybe open the gate and proceed in order to succeed. It can be frightening but let's not wait for an act of lightning to jumpstart you to do your part.

My father invited me to dinner tomorrow with my grandmother and my mother. It's their weekly dinner with my ouma. My ouma has been very adamant when I see her, that she wants me to visit. It's been difficult, mainly because several members of my family are very much Believers in the narrative. And they're not too open to expanding their horizons. So these are topics, when we get together, that we cannot talk about.

Some spiritual guidance that I've received recently, I still need to do need preservation. There are things that I'm moving underneath the surface, that is imperative that I'm not share with the people around me. However I still need my community or a community around me to help me get to the place that need to. I still need to go out and have fun, I still need to go out and take action for my own well-being.

Sometimes I feel that it is that it is necessary that I continue doing this action.

Buckling down, hiding, protection. You can't see me, thus you can't act against me.

The goddess keeps saying that I need to figure out who I am. Not who people think I am or say I am or describe me as. But who I am. Sometimes or even most of the time I have no fucking clue what this means. I have spent decades, in the act of preservation, hiding.

While doing this entry on this morning's drawing, and getting spiritual guidance from that, and thinking about what's going on right now, I needed some more guidance. So I got my Faerie Oracle deck, Heart of Faerie out.

( Clarification: )

When I read the hope, I was brought to tears.

I listen to an astrologer, and he says that the last 3 years during covid was just the hotel lobby. We're about to enter the main stage. If we thought that covid was bad, the challenge that is coming, is going to take the fucking cake. And run with it. It's kind of scary to look at, contemplate, or even consider. But maybe a challenge does need to come, maybe the Dark Night of the Soul has to happen, and maybe just maybe that spark of hope, will keep us going. And it is our communities and our Partnerships and the people that we hold dear around us, and maybe even the new ones that we draw around us that will help us, that will share that hope with us, going forward.

This is an oh shit moment.

Today.

Today I did two things on my list for the week.

One was to go to my Credit Union and pick up a copy of an ACH so I can pay my tax payment.
Another was to pay my taxes.
I called my Ouma to let her know I was coming to dinner tomorrow, too.

So I did three major things today.

I also took a nap on the couch.

While I was at the credit union, the teller complimented me on my shirt. It's Stitch from Lilo and Stitch.

I said thank you.

I also told her where I find my Lilo and Stitch shirts. One year Torrid had a Stitch Onsie. Guess who bought it. that would be me...