Be the Light in the Night

I've closed my schedule for the week.  No new people can book in.  Everybody that is on the the schedule is on the schedule.

I followed up with the client that was booked past my available time and sent her a message stating the latest she can book my schedule is 1:40 pm.  So if it works for her, it'll be fine, or she may need to book elsewhere. 

The shoulder is still guarded, but it's in a much better space today than it was yesterday.  Yesterday it was in a better place than Saturday.

It did actually improve throughout the day, but at the end of my shift I a got Dr. John to work on it for me.  Yeah I pissed off the SITS (SupraSpina, Subscap, InfraSpina, and Teres Minor).  He was moderately evil, but it helped.  I'm almost to a 90* abduction, which is a lot better than it was on Saturday.

The body is still really guarded about the ROM of the joint at times, but my arm is now moving much better and unconsciously. 

Dr. John said a lot of other areas that I usually have problems in, were good.  But then I haven't worked in over a week may have something to do with that.

I have four days of work this week, tomorrow we're heading to somewhere in the Mid 20s.  It's going to be positively DIVINE

Even though I didn't get up when I thought I would... I love and approve of myself now.

I didn't think that I would do my shopping today.  I thought after not getting up this morning that I would do it tomorrow. 

But after I got my car worked on this morning and afternoon, I ended up doing all of my weekly grocery shopping.

POOF

So now I don't have to leave the apartment tomorrow at all till we leave for Early Yule.  YAY! 

Though I may cut up some of the old apples and pomegranates for the creatures, maybe a couple oranges too.  

Winter is here.

It's way that I don't have to toss all that food. 

I still need to purchase some gifts and don't know if I'll be able to by the weekend.  Might be gift certificates for the rest of the peeps.

Roommate and I went to Chipotle and Target.  I was going to order the vegetarian, but changed when it had a new steak flavor.  But I was eating it and realized it lacked color. 

All the food that I've been eating lately has lots of color because how I'm making it with lots of fresh ingredients.  I realized that I needed to start this meal off as a salad bowl instead of a burrito bowl, and I could of asked my roommate for a sample of her steak instead of having steak.

But seriously, If I'm paying extra for guac, don't be stingy.

Then we went to Target, because to be honest I needed some more ankle socks that didn't interfere with my stockings.  I did find some and they appear to be perfect.

Though this morning I realized that I forget a $10 charge in my account.  IT should be fine as my CU clears to 9.99 w/o fee.

I paid the minimum required for my tax payment today.  For some reason it keeps going to my 2018 taxes.  I think it's because that's the last time I was paying towards taxes after the due date.

I was really happy to be able to pay the bill.

I'm listening to The Daughters.  It's sad to listen to.  Because it's a thought that I always thought about, but not only that, I always thought when I thought about the Catholic God, where was the Mother?  There male and female trees, plants, animals, insects, so why was there a God, A father, A son, but where was Mom?

I was driving to work this morning and almost burst into tears.  Because while I was driving the Spirit of My Grandma came while I was listening to this song.  She was very persistent. 

Love.

if things go as planned this will be my last upcoming appointment with the wound clinic.  My Doctor believes that I may be discharged from the clinic this upcoming week. 

We have been using Mepilex in the healing.  It's just one layer, kinda works as that new skin thing that we can use on blisters, but not nearly as painful to take off.

The bandage as a whole starts with one of the Mepilex Ag, followed by four layers of cotton squares and wrapped in more cotton, then a compression stalking followed by an Ace bandage with Velcro.  it's been working well for the most part, with the exception of painful compressions of the achillies tendon at o dark thirty.  But that is in large part because the nurse bandages at the ankle juncture and it crosses oddly on my over the tendon. 

My hours have returned to normal with the healing.  Today we are forecasted to have a low of 8*F tonight.  yay! But tomorrow it's going to go up to like the 30s.  Weird.

Winter has apparently started.

I think as soon as it's cleared, I'm going to take a full body shower, because seriously,  I do miss showers.

meep

So I have to say that I'm kinda bereft with what to do with my time since I blocked all my distractions. 

So far I've freed up some memory on my phone.

Hung some pictures up.

Took the trash out.

Swept the Kitchen floor.

Did some pricing research for some supplements I'd like to include for my health.

Set up a consult for my health tomorrow, and we'll see where I go from there.

Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow besides doing some grocery shopping and some laundry. 

Maybe torment the cats.

Create some more art.

So I read a lot of fanfiction.

It is really an escape for me and I love following as well as escaping into these little side quests that is reading.

So I've added an extension to my browser that will hopefully allow me to stop escaping as frequently.  But who knows I might think of new ways to escape.


OH...I'm not dead.  I've just been doing a lot private journaling with paper.

While I was walking I was listening to the LeoKing's reading for today and he was talking about old frequencies and new frequencies and how the old frequencies were going to try to drag me back to the older way of doing things. 

Before walking to library, I had an urge to go dance with my imagination.  Which is my retreat. 

I don't really know why I want to retreat.  I don't really know why I'm feeling the need to retreat. - yes i do

But I have started doing my Reiki Meditation Just for today again. 

One of them started as Just for today... I choose not to retreat.  Which I then changed to Just for today I choose to stand. 

Which lead to other revisions as well. 

Considering how Abraham and Esther Hicks channeled information states that you attract what you focus on.  So If I'm saying I choose not to retreat or not to gossip or a variety of different other statements, then I will focus on that statement.  So I changed things to more positive statements to help me focus on things and attitudes that I would like to bring into my life instead of remain in my life with other things. 

When I usually receive spiritual guidance I want to retreat.  I want to hide, because well if I'm hiding then I don't have have to do it right?

If I'm busy, I don't have to do the work right? 

So instead of retreating, because I did procrastinate for most of the day, I went for a walk, to the library.  

Not to say I didn't do anything constructive, it was just spread between reading fanfic all day. *blinkblink*

Bumble.

And I mentioned that I had fun this last weekend.  I had gone to Taylor Falls and shopped a little, then I set my car on no highways and went on a road trip through Wisconsin's back roads which was extremely fun.

This week I got the red book of maps of Wisconsin, which shows the back roads, main roads, country roads, and the like.  Which is why I ordered it. 

He came back with a comment that I must be rich.

I had responded that no, I've just decided that I wasn't going to allow my fears to dictate my joy anymore, and road trips bring me joy.

He didn't like that response and left the chat.  I'm actually feeling really good about this.

I've seen three Women this week with problems in their upper quads, hips and lower back, all tighter on the Left side.  Now most of them would also have reasons for that tension, but Three in one week is a bit note worthy.

Left side deals with receptive energy and usually referred as the feminine side.

The area of the body usually deals with root, sacral and solar plexus energy centers. 

We saw similar patterns but mostly dealing with the covid pandemic in 2020.

So today, I am planning on creating a vision board in line with my emotional radar. 

I've did my miracle morning this morning, the dishes, cleaned out the cat fountain and installed the new motor for the water.  Which is kinda cool because it has an led light now that shows us the water level.  Much needed.

I need to do some meal prep, and maybe stop by the co-op for a snack.  Then get the things together for my vision board. 

I had a couple more things to print out, so I went to library.  It's much cheaper to print color at the library than at the FedEx or UPS store. 

Roommate is supposed to come home some time today.

One of the things that came up in meditation yesterday was counting all reading I do in the morning as part of my MM.  It feels that I am denying my accomplishment even when I read Fanfiction.  It's a material I enjoy reading, and denying myself the joy just feels bad. 

So I'm loving the Rough Trade right now.

Right?

So for over two years you've actually had a great many people saying just that in regards with a shot that they did not agree with for whatever reason, and you had people telling them just get the shot so that we can stop the spread.  Follow the science right?  

Yet the science itself wasn't really clear, well unless it fit the narrative, right?

Now you have the right to an abortion in the United States, but now it's states that dictate the requirements for you do so.  Which is no different to the EU and it's separate countries as well as their separate guidelines for the same service.  So ... 

Now according to this article you still have the right in most states to have an abortion, however, if you go to this page on Planned Parenthood they will give you a more up to date information.

This article shows what states are Democratic overall.  Now in these states for the most part, abortion is legal with few restrictions or guidelines, though some of the divided and republican also have legalized abortion from state to state, the guidelines and restrictions may be different.

But it's all about perspective and the narrative that you feed your mind right?

I saw a sign on the way to the library that basically said if you don't want an abortion mind your business.  I found that humorous.  Because for over 3 years there have been plenty of people that said the same thing, and were told that their choice didn't matter, they had to do it for the greater good.  It's funny that now that the shoe is on the other foot, it's now none of everyone's business. 

It's my body my choice.  

So which is it? 

Personally,  I don't care overall.  It's your body, your choice whether it's the vax or an abortion, it is your body and it is your choice and you should have the choice regardless of what someone else thinks.  I just find it odd that it matters now.

I don't want to really dedicate much to this, but I was listening to the Leo King's Weekend Report where he was like maybe he should charge people on the lessons he gives in regards to how our country should be working instead of the way it's working right now. 

Personally we're fucked because most people don't even know how are government and our country is supposed to work to begin with, and when we start to explain it, they are completely oblivious to the knowledge. 

What is the benefit of people not knowing how the government works or how it should be working? 

Well if you don't know how it's supposed to work or how much power the people really and truly have if they were to realize it, then you can do end runs around the process and not really worry about the people, because the people don't know what they don't know.  Then you can use for example the media to keep the people as distracted as possible from the real issues.

Sound familiar?

I find that those that do their own research on a particular topic, tend to be more balanced with what is going on, especially if they've given up the boob tube.  Their emotional landscape is much better and they tend to be able to have some very good conversations without losing their shit.

I work with two adults younger than I am and when I was explaining the process, they both looked at me rather blankly.

This video is dated for 2017 and it talks about the differences of Abortion in the United State vs that of Europe.  It's interesting really.  Because in some cases the policies of Abortion in Europe is much more restrictive than that of the United States. 

Now this video singles out democratic progressives which is not entirely true, because those that believe in Abortion don't belong to just one party or religious organization.

I drive to work and it's about 30 minutes one way.  So I listen to audio books mostly, sometimes the Leo King depending the length of the forecast, and sometimes music.  It depends on the mood. 

I had an inspiration last weekend to create an Empowerment playlist off of Spotify.   Which was very good.  I'm listening to it as I'm doing some work things in the AC. 

I've had some fun this week.  I've started a new morning routine which has helped set the form for my day.

In anticipation of the heat wave heading my way tomorrow, I went and got a new AC unit that is smaller and not as heavy for my apartment.  I'd like to get one that is mobile, but I don't know if I can do both this time round.

I finally got my tax bill for last year, and while I can't pay the whole amount right now, I'm sending a payment back with a request to bill me monthly at a certain amount, which worked well in the pass, if not I've mad a copy that I can send in the future.  I do better with bills though.

The Leo King is offering all his classes for $500.  This is like a HOLY SHIT moment.

Listening to the Esther Hicks Audio books have been the bomb.  I've circled the material for a while, but wasn't really ready to listen or learn from it.   But since I'm driving an hour a day when working, I've decided to put that time for learning.  But they are the only books that I've consistently pushed the back button to re-listen to the information, because I didn't quite get it, and I've done it multiple times.

It's okay to not have everything figured out.

It's even okay not to have any idea how you feel.

It's even okay if you want to roll over and go back to bed.

It's okay to take your time.

This morning during Leo King's daily astrology on the collective, he said something that was resonating with his weekly Deep Astrology as well as a book that I'm listening to.  Even if you have no idea where you are going, act as if you do.  You may not know your destination, but sometimes the destination isn't the point.  The point is the journey an the experience.  Experimenting with what feels right.

Sometimes it takes a different perspective.

One of my clients yesterday came in have a familiar pain.  He has stopped doing chiropractic, he isn't doing any of the homework, and isn't doing any of the recommendations for additional care.  He stated that he didn't want to jar the peace and painless part that he was currently experiencing.  Which is fine, the problem is part the reason he had that, was the work he was doing before.  So now the pain is back. 

I get that with a great deal of my clients/patients.  They want that happy place, and once they get it, they stop doing the things that got them there, and then the unhappiness returns, and they wonder why.

The body itself is like a computer.  It has it's own routines and habits, and when you stop doing the things that bring new routines and habits to the system, it tends to return to it's default for the lack of new input.  It requires sometimes a different look or different action or different care. 

For this particular client I notated his SOAPs stating that as long as he is not willing to take the additional care of his body and situation his condition will not improve.   I didn't list his weight as the problem, because while it is part of it, it's the other particulars that makes or breaks the cake.

Many of my clients and patients don't want to do the additional work, because they don't have the time, or it's one more thing they have to do.   But all it takes is one step, and then figuring out if it's worth it.  And usually it is.  It's just the continuation of the experiment.  Not everything works out as expected, but that's part of the journey.

Sometimes it's about finding your WHY.  The reason you do the things you do, or the reason you are doing the things you do to get to a goal or accomplish it.   Sometimes it's not the destination but the origin that is important. The idea that set you on the path.

This morning I drew the Eagle.

Eagle: See from a Higher Perspective

( Looking at things from a different perspective ).

It's interesting because I didn't think I had time for exercise.  But one morning I just rolled out of bed and started doing yoga poses and stretches.  

Then one day I realized that I was actually doing the exercise I didn't think I had time for.

Did today go as planned...maybe yes

So Last night I had called my mechanic and for those of you who are also on Irish_dragon, you know the results of that convo.

Today I went out to check my tire and realized driving on it would be bad.  I was actually planning on calling my mechanic this evening to make time to come see him tomorrow.  This was before I realized that I could have AAA come by and switch my tire for my donut.  Which we did, though we had to go to the gas station to refill the donut.

So tomorrow I'll go to work and I'll call him then and set up a time for Thursday.  Hopefully in the AM as we are spiking to 90s on Thursday.

I checked my fluids in the car today, and everything seems to be on the up and up.

I'm going to be moving the winter stuff back into the house as I don't need it currently in the car, and I need some room in the trunk. 

Remember that it's easier to do things when you're not attached to the outcome.

It's an interesting day. 

I was listening to Medical Medium's chapter on what foods to avoid and when he was going over the dairy segment, he has stated that dairy can be attributed to allergies.  Which made me realize or remember that back when I was on Herbalife and I had eliminated Dairy and Gluten for the most part in my diet, that I did not experience my normal allergies and illnesses that year.  It was something I remember.  And since then I haven't had as sever cases normally. 

This morning I drew Druid from the Angels and Ancestors Oracle Deck.

Druid: Hold the Space

( Hold the Space ).

So today I decided to take a walk to the co-op and get some food for the next couple of days.  On the way home I was deciding which direction I wanted to go, and my guidance kept saying nope nope nope...

I was checking my pockets and realized that I left my phone back at the coop and I ran as fast as my little fat butt could then speed walked, and it was still there. Thank God. 

Then I went home and the walk was much easier.

I had decided to go with a larger book bag today since I needed more than my cross body could carry and leave my walking stick behind. 

I actually feel really good after the walk.  Not as achy as I was earlier this week.  Though now I'm pretty tired.

Wow!  What a week so far?

This week has been an interesting week of musical massage appointments.  I had an appointment cancel on Wednesday, which we filled, another on Saturday, again filled, then another on Thursday which didn't fill, and then again on Friday, which we did fill both appointments.

It's been rather exciting and I'm really glad I'm getting off early today.  I need to do a quick stop at Target today and pick up some wipes, and was able to catch up on my SOAPs.

This morning I drew the Seer.

Seer: See Beyond the current situation.

( Look Beyond the shit ).

It's hard sometimes to stay present in the day.  When I am looking forward to the future.  I know deeply that the future is not now, but in order to navigate to the future, I need to live as the future is now.  To practice what I want no, and not then. 

We often say we will happy when something happens or arrives, failing to realize that we must make ourselves aware and do the things we need to do to encourage ourselves to live as if we are already there.

It's always really interesting to relearn this lesson every time.

If you are a fan of Rebecca Campbell, Hay House Publishing is offering her stuff for 50% off through tomorrow.

This morning I ended up doing an EFT meditation not off the app but off of someone that I was recommended by a patient. That actually struck a cord. Because I ultimately chose to hid my emotions because I was told if I showed people how it made me feel when they bullied me, it would hurt more. Also I think it's because I don't have a whole lot of live social interaction with people right now. So I don't really get the experience of relationships, because my circle is rather small.

This morning I drew the Stargazer.

Stargazer: Set Your Sights Higher

( Set Your Sights Higher. ).

I had a patient ask me about doing more business with intuitive guidance last week, and I do more of a Reiki Session with my home clients than I do at work. I had discounted it last week, because I was focusing on Work. But it's also something that came up when I jumped ship from Moe's. If I went to another chiropractor office eventually I would be focusing on more manual work than the intuitive. While the intuitive is there, it's not the focus that I want it to be.

I know and feel the direction I want to go, and that may be why I'm frustrated right now, because I know the direction I'm heading right now is not the direction that I want to go, and seeing my boss not ask or head in the direction she wants to go, but continuing to do it anyway is frustrating, because I'm frustrated because I'm not honoring the direction I want to go.

So In the Heart of Faerie Oracle Deck there is a card called Leaving.  It talks about every choice or step we make is a decision to leave something or someone behind.

I remember working with one of my patients yesterday and she was contemplating a big change which would require her to leave someone and somethings behind, and she was stopping it.  Because there would be hurt feelings.  When she was talking and receiving guidance, I remembered that we also hear the messages that we need to hear, or are refusing to allow time for to contemplate.

As I draw the cards for this month for the first time in a while, I am reminded of this.  

I need to communicate my intentions but I haven't given space for the disappointments, sorrow, sadness over what might have been, but isn't. 

It's hard to say goodbye.  It's hard to say farewell.  But it is needed.

But the card for the biggest lesson this month was the Mourning Tree. 

And it talks about the changes that we are making or contemplating and that now is the the time for those changes, but also a time to consider what was learned through the experience and consider the feelings and emotions and allow them to be expressed as you journey forward.  That other person is going to have the same or similar feelings, and those are not your responsibility, but you can't help but feel responsible, because it is a change that you are initiating that will change not only your world, but theirs as well. 

It's okay to acknowledge that, but you also need to acknowledge your feelings too.

The first thing I checked this morning was my bank account which followed me checking to see if my rent had been updated yet. 

Anyway... I find myself emotionally involved in the narrative of TikTok right now.  The Elon Musk thing and the Food Processing plants.  It's very interesting.  Little blurps about Johnny Depp's suit.

I find myself going off the emotional cliff because of the news I am seeing.  While I don't watch the news, I do watch TikTok on occasion. 

I take a step back.  Even before I drew today's oracle card, I was stepping back from the narrative in my head and heart.  Because it's fear.  The emotion underlining the narrative in my head is fear.  Fear that the people I know will watch the news and then get caught up in the narrative like I just was and then start spouting the narrative, because that's all they know. And I understand.  I understand, because I used to be there.  I used to watch the narrative just as much as people now do, but I am reminded of a quote I saw this week that stated.

Treat your mind like money.  Don't waste it. 

I would say Treat your mind like time.  Don't waste it. 

You can always make more money, you can't get time back.  You can even get your mind back sometimes, but it takes effort.  There are people who get their mind back after a stroke, but it takes time and effort.  So I guess your mind and money could be a better analogy, because you can get both back, but it takes effort.  Time is something that can never really be given back.

Feed your time and mind with things that enrich you, and you can become rich, maybe not in the way you think with money, but if you enrich your mind and time, then the money is just a side dish.

This morning I drew the Eagle.

Eagle: See from a Higher Perspective

( Looking at things Differently ).

I listened to A course in Miracles Made Easy by Alan Cohen and the thing that I learned mainly from the book was there is fear and love that all things branch from.  Anger, fear, frustration, hatred come from fear, just as joy, love, happiness, friendship come from love.   It's where do you wish to stand on the spectrum. 

When I talk to my clients there are things I say when they say I am trying.  Yoda says there is no try, there is do and do not.  But Fear leads to Anger, and anger leads to hatred and hatred leads to suffering.

People are usually fearful of the things they don't understand, then they become uncomfortable and frustrated about this thing or person or people that they don't understand and they get frustrated and angry.  Then they become hateful and more fearful because of this thing or person that they don't understand because they don't know, and that leads to suffering, because then they are bleeding that fear, anger and hatred on all around them.

Then the people they are bleeding that fear, anger, and hatred on may be responding to them with their own fears, angers and hatred, and wow...what are we seeing today?

I don't want to live my life in fear, so I avoid the news because it speaks to the fear that I have and I go down dark roads and feed the frenzy that lives in my mind.  But I when I take a step back and really consider what is going on, I understand why people are acting the way they are, because I too experience and have experienced the same result of my behavior.  And I'm struck today as I read Medical Medium by Anthony William that we are only hear the messages that we are ready to hear.

Several years ago I was working with a massage client and she had mentioned something from the book Medical Medium and I wasn't ready for the message, but I remember it.  Now I'm ready and listening.

We can't wake those that are currently sleeping, until they themselves are ready to awaken.  We can teach, but forcing someone to listen or heal, carries it own trauma. 

And Covid and the consequences or the theories that surround it, will hold a different trauma going forward on an individual and societal level for years if not generations to come. 

That causes me sadness.

This morning was tough.  I was not really motivated to get out of bed today.  I did my AM meditation and then dozed off again.

I really would like to go back to bed.

This morning I drew Mother Earth from the Angels and Ancestors Oracle.

Mother Earth: Feel Loved and Comforted.

( Mother Earth )

This is something that I miss the most about a partner.  I miss the cuddles, the hugs, or just being loved.  There are times in meditation and dreams that I feel this for myself.  And I acknowledge that I've come a long way from where I was 20 or 30 years ago.  But I've been alone for a long time, and it's hard sometimes or most of the time to step outside of my comfort zone and make more connections, because I've been comfortable with myself for some time.

Though, am I really comfortable?  Am I the comfortable that I know what I'm in right now, and don't want it worse or better? Am I uncomfortable now but not really realizing it?  Is it time to take a leap of faith? 

Good Morningish Afternoon.

This Morning I drew Autumn from the Angels and Ancestors Oracle deck.

Autumn: Release the Old and Rest

Release all of the pressure and expectations weighing you down. Shed it all so that you can recover before moving into a time of renewal.

You know what is heavy, what is holding you back.  Is it a person, a situation, a dream?  Like the trees letting go of their leaves and fruit in the Autumn, it's time to let it go.  When you hold on, you try to control reality, and that never works.  When you let go, you make space for the new to enter your life.  You are being guided by your angels and nature Herself to release whatever is stopping you from moving forward.  And you can do this. 

When the Autumn card arrives in the future position of a spread or as the last card of a reading, it can also indicate that the coming Autumn will usher in important energies with regards to your question or intention.

This "morning" and last night was thinking where would I move in Wisconsin.  Where is my destination, and even journaling right now, I can smell my Grandma's house.  It was a grand place, but some of that is also nostalgia.  Do I go for what I know or do I take a leap of faith?  And isn't moving to Wisconsin a leap of faith?  Because while I may know a couple people in that state, I don't know anyone close to me in the locations I'm looking.

I would love to move into the old house, but it's a bit big for me.  I used to have dreams of buying it and moving it out of town.  But that's a nostalgia.  It was a sanctuary and I loved my Grandma.  I lost her too soon, back in the 1990s.

But I really like the old homes.  The ones built to last.  I've always enjoyed the character of those built in the last century or more.

But as I've decided what direction, what's drawing me on an emotional level, I want to look, create expectations of where I'm going.  But I'm not there yet.  The time isn't here yet, and to create expectations on the outcome never works.  So as i tell many of my clients and patients.  Release it and allow it to happen.  If you already know the guidelines of what you are looking for, let go and let the Divine work for you.

You do the work you need to do, and let the Universe bring you what you want.  Sometimes it's so difficult to release the control of the situation, even though control is an illusion.   Having experience in the Letting Go and allowing the universe to work for me, you would think I would know this already, but sometimes I have to relearn shit.

My EFT Meditation went great this morning. I was in an awesome mood today. I was able to stay on target most of the day. I did my taxes. I'm doing my mini freak out right now.

But it was truly an awesome day. I drank my 3 bottles today. YAY.

It was sunny too.

I was paid today. yeah...that was fun.

I need to pay my mechanic.

This morning I started the Morning by listening to the Leo King. It was interesting. I was like okay, I can keep it simple.

So after my morning I went grocery shopping, and kept it simple.  I went one place and got everything on my list, another for allergy tablets, and then finally a bookstore before home.  I only bought what was needed.

I did my tapping meditation with a broad view of multiple people. I was tapping again with relationships and this time I chose my bullies.

It was an interesting meditation. I kind of understand from my perspective what exactly happened. But it was educational and thought-provoking, but I can't really think of any breakthroughs.

This morning I drew go after your goals from the ancestor Spirit Oracle.

Go After Your Goals: persist – encourage – advance

( Go After Your Goals. ).

I've been contemplating this for a bit.  So decided to work on my healing.  While I work in a healing field, I cannot be the best that I can be, without working on myself. 

If I do not work on my center, then my foundation does not hold, then my outer world will continue to be in disarray.