Be the Light in the Night

The sunshine. Honestly people, this is beautiful weather. I couldn't ask for a warmer winter.

Finding the correct messages app. So the new Samsungs have two messages apps. One is the app from samsung, and the other one is the app from google. Sometimes the people who you are sending messages to, may or may not get your message, because they are not on the Google platform. But if you use the messages app for samsung, to get the message. I was trying to figure out how to ensure I was sending a CMS message versus an rc2 message.

Meal prep. So I cook some of recipes from medical medium and a variety of different other vegetable or fruit based recipes. I bought the ingredients for the soup last week. And been procrastinating. Last night I cooked it. Separated it. And now I have two jars of broth, two jars of the vegetables, and one jar mixed. I am cooking the one jar mixed before my roommate gets off of work, so I have something in my system. Because we're doing Circle tonight.

The weather. I drove home without my coat on, and the sunshine, it was about 2:00 in the afternoon, and there was hardly enough traffic on the road. Usually traffic is really clogged at that time, hardly any traffic. Also I think Wednesday is the day that most people go into work during the week, because that is the busiest day of the three weekdays that I travel, on the roads.

Dr john. Dr John was evil with me today, and I asked for it. Literally told him that he could be mean to me today. My right hip has been bugging me for a couple weeks, it's tightening up, it's laterally pronating my leg, there's a little weakness going on around the knee, because it's all tightening up in the glute. So I'm expecting some beautiful colors tomorrow.

the weather. I love the ability to open my window during the winter and not freeze my ass off. f

Merlin. My roommate is unfortunately still out of town and he came for cuddles this morning. I purred. I love kitten cuddles with purrs.

off days. I can do things or when I have my period I can not do things.

paying bills. It eases my mind when I am able to pay my bills.

learning new things. It's always interesting what gets into my meditations because I learned something new about my body, subtle bodies, or energy.

The shoulder on the side of the road. So this afternoon on the way home from work, I was just cruising along in the far left lane waiting to get my exit. Which is a left lane. And all of a sudden some asshole, in the far right lane decided that you know I don't want to be in this lane, I'm going to move, which unfortunately meant that the car in the second lane had to move as well and then the car in the third lane moved into my lane while I was still in that spot, and continue to run me off the road. So I'm very grateful that there was a shoulder there so I could flick him off repeatedly for being an asshole. Then after that, that car that cut me off stayed far enough away from me in the behind. And I calm down, and I realized that you know the only reason he did that, was because someone else that did that to him, and the only reason that person did it, is because the dick on the side. A lot of the anger just went away. There was very Greatful I didn't have to deal with him for the rest of my commute.

Wristbands. So I received some wristbands for my Samsung 6 watch. So I'm able to now wear it. Because I'm a little too big for the wristband at the watch comes with. I am hoping to utilize this tool to help me manage my weight as well as my health. I'm hoping that with this tracking my numbers, it will help me take a walk more often. Or at the very least do some exercises in the morning to loosen me up. And burn some calories.

The C chord splitter that I received. I've bought a couple from five below, and they don't work. But this one does. It's about $7 more expensive than what Five Below has, but it does work. Which is what I looking for. So I will purchase a couple more, because that will enable me to charge my phone while I'm driving and listen with headphones.

The weather. We are forecasted to hit the mid-40s by next week. So whatever gods and goddesses that are sending this weather, or man-made Phenomenon with the seating of weather in the skies, that is bringing this weather, I am very grateful to have this oddball winter.

Cash tips. All my clients left me cash. My middle client actually put a hammer on her venmo. She needs to come in more often. Maybe we can manage what's going on with her jaw if she came in more often.

Getting up prior to 4:30. I'm doing better this morning, I don't have this extreme urge to take a nap. My cat woke me up at 4:15 this morning. Because she wanted to drink out of the faucet. That's my own responsibility, because I taught her how to do that.

Remaining in my bed. I get to watch the cats running around like crazy little kittens. I have things to do, and I would rather not wait like I did yesterday.

A potential day off. I currently do not have anyone booked for tomorrow. I had a cancellation on thursday, and the receptionist was able to move my one appointment that I had tomorrow to the Thursday block. So I'm actually fully booked for the week from Thursday to sunday. This is good.

Using this time to come to center. Being busy can be a form of distraction. Looking for things to do, can be a form of distraction. What is important for me today to accomplish?

This new day. To experience in a new way. Maybe.


Hoar Frost from Last January.

I am grateful for audible. Audible to the New Year's cyber Christmas sale. I'm not really sure when this happened. And instead of purchasing some books by this particular author on audible, I purchased physical copies of the books. It has been very enlightening. I don't know if it's because I'm physically reading the book, or that it's resonating with other knowledge that I know. Or feel.

With the teacher of my intuitive classes, she's always stated that yawning is a release. In this book that I'm reading, it mentions that yawning is a signal from the body that it's tapping statement has been cleared. This does not just occur when EFT is tapping. This occurs when you're in a situation, and you're working with other healers and all of a sudden you start yawning. You're not tired, but your body is releasing trapped energy with the yawn. Sometimes it's not important that you know what or how, it's just important that it happens.

I am also grateful for something it says in regards with when we tell ourselves things. The example that she gives is that the subconscious does not hear the word no. When we say I am not going to eat that piece of cake, the subconscious hears, yum! Cake! I'm going to eat a piece of cake! This is why when we tell ourselves we're going to do this tomorrow, tomorrow never comes and we are constantly putting off the things that we want to do tomorrow it's like a procrastination meeting, procrastination meet tomorrow.

I am grateful for having the space to myself. I find it easier to do my personal work, when another person isn't in the house. I'm probably should consider this when considering some of my future goals. There needs to be a space within the place in which I live, that I can be away from people while I do the personal work that I need to do. Or set a time where I am completely unavailable for drama.

I I'm grateful for my love of reading. But because I don't invest in my own time, and avoid it at all cost, I tend not to read the things that really enrich me. I like to read fiction, because it shows me kind of what I would like in my life.

I am grateful to track. One of the things that I really enjoy about tracking habits, is you can be as creative or as minimalistic as you want. I personally like to be creative, I like to include color, and I like to be able to color in or create little diamond shapes throughout my tracking, through color. Because it's almost as much fun to knock them down as sometimes it is to do it with the goal of being able to Market down in color.

A good night's sleep. I slept very well. I didn't set an alarm. But I woke up around 8:00.

Doing a recorded meditation. The meditation that I did today I recorded a couple days ago. And while I was doing it, I realized I needed to do it in a separate manner. One for meditation, and one for healing. It worked, and I had a lot of success with it, but it felt just a little off in the beginning and the middle. But I was also inspired maybe doing one that guided me through doing the Reiki placement meditations, as well. We shall see.

The new year. Though, I'm going to do something different. For me, this is not the new year, it is a reaffirmation of my intention for this season. And I'll utilize it as preparation for the new year astrologically that will begin in spring. I'm going to see how that works in my mindset as well as my spiritual set and my body set. Although technically my new year on this world physically begins on my birthday.

The weather. It is still warmer than it would normally be during the month of january. Which is good. I wasn't freezing extra bits off yesterday while I was waiting for the bus. Which, yeah.

Having food at home. Food at home enables me to have food at home, and not go out as much. Or order in as much. Granted it's convenient, in both ways. It's more convenient sometimes to order in than it is to cook depending on your mental capacity. But it's more convenient on your budget if you cook in instead of ordering in.

Follow through. I woke up at 6:00 ish today, on a day I don't necessarily have to work, but I did pick up a client today, to do work laundry. So when I do go to my client, I can stop by work and drop off the sheets. Then I don't have to think about work until wednesday.

Drama. Long story short, it vibed on a frequency that made me uncomfortable and I got upset with him, and rather than continue with the drama I deleted the comment and post. So I sit here still needling how I'm frustrated, and then I just closed my eyes, took "it" out of my mind and talked to it. Then released it, as lesson learned for today.

Actually getting up at like 5:00, because my cat wanted water from the faucet, apparently. I'm back asleep. Till my alarm. But I did get kitten cuddles.

One of my at-home clients saying he needed a massage this weekend. Instead of next weekend. Which is awesome.

Early morning. Because I can carve out some time just for me, and then I can have time for other people.

Getting up and doing my work. By getting up after my first alarm, it does make it easier to do the work, without feeling rushed.

Doing my meditation. No while doing my meditation I have been advised that I need to do more of it. I may do a recorded meditation that is different than the one created yesterday for this morning. It was a very interesting meditation.

Wednesday. This is my monday. It's my first day of my work week. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this.

Refilling my water bottle before bed. This allows me to drink water when I wake up thirsty. And it allows me to have a water bottle ready to go when I wake up. One less thing to do in my morning.

Knowing that adulting everyday is overrated. We need to take days off of being adults.

Doing the dishes. I didn't really WANT to do the dishes, but I do know that by doing the dishes, I do improve my mental headspace.

going to get water. I was going to wait till tomorrow to do it as well as return the library books, but today worked well. Hardly any traffic at all, and only like 3 people at the spring. It didn't start raining till after I had returned home.

my massage stick. My left shoulder isn't happy after the natural spring pull. Mainly because of the 3 gallons per bag thing, and the curvature of my shoulder. So if I don't work it before I go to bed, I'll feel it tomorrow.

chai tea. I'm experimenting. I have to play with it for a bit, bet the steep and mix right. But today's brew tasted well for the most part.

sending presents to my Brother's children. I feel much better with the decision. I don't have much contact with my Brother's family, and they have much less with me, unless they are visiting. So... I don't necessarily feel obligated to send things. But feel bad for the choice. So... I sent 2 20 dollar gift certificates for them.

following through. After I did the dishes I ordered in. I was surprised that there were people open, but I ordered Indian from my favorite place, and tipped extra. Then after lupper, I took a HOT shower. Then used the massage stick on my shoulder and the cats. The cats love the thumper.

for putting my Fanfiction and Social Media on a timer.  I use Firefox and one of the add-ons I use is LeechBlock.  This allows me to block or put on a timer my websites that Leech my time.  Yes I can change it, but knowing that I have a timer today, has helped me delegate my time elsewhere.  But it's also very interesting because I feel the need to go to it, but stop and delegate my attention else where.


I love it when Christmas is at my parents' or Yule when my High Priest was still alive. He had the fire going and he also helped me cuddle. I'm a bit touch starved. I've been in my cave for several years. So stepping out or taking that leap of faith and initiating contact is big for me. But this photograph is from a time at my parents' several years ago. I love fire. Seriously. Love it. Which is saying something, because I've been burned 2x from fire. Once as toddler on the side of a barbecue on my elbow and shoulder (scar is still present a little on the elbow) and once when I stepped on a piece of hot charcoal in 4th grade.

Still love fire.

When I have my own space or place, I would love to have a wood burning stove or heater. Fire Pit is a must.

for Divine or Energetic Guidance. It does put things in perspective, especially when there is a repeated message on multiple fronts. Because even with repeats, if the some of the cards or intuitive is different, it will help hone where your attention needs to be or guide it there.

for a good night's sleep and kitten gravity. I do enjoy having kitten gravity. Even when she's this little furnace over my Sacral, Root and Solar Plexus at night. Nothing like overheating.

for a week off of class. I was sitting in the living room last night thinking about where all the time goes when my teacher texts and says she's needs some more decompression time for family christmas. Totally get it. Though mine's more family time and all the people I've been around for the last couple days.

for dismantling my bed. Because honestly it does put more work between you and getting back into bed.

for rain. We're at 36 degrees now, and by Christmas Eve we're supposed to be at 51 degrees. There were people apparently golfing yesterday. This isn't normal. But ya know what? I'm totally okay not freezing when I'm outside.

The cats checking up on me. It's always nice when they are "willing" to cuddle.

A safe drive to work. I love sunday morning traffic most of the time.

meal prep. Breakfast smoothie.

the money to pay my bills, so when an unexpected payment come out when you already paid it, you're not going OH SHIT!

I am grateful for today. Today is a good day.

I am grateful for not dismantling my bed, but making instead. It rhythms. I have class today, and I decided rather than dismantle, I would just make instead. It'll save time and brain space.

I am grateful for meal prep. Meal Prep saves so much money in the long run.

I am grateful that my roommate did most of her dishes. Most of the time she leaves them for me to do, and pisses me off to no end.

I am grateful for this early start. I get off early on Fridays, so starting early means somewhat normal day.

I am grateful for these awesome temperatures. I cracked window goes a long way to regulating the temperatures. I'm loving it.

I am grateful to be up and moving by 6. Though I'm not sure about the Celery Juice. I've done it before, but the getting use to the taste again....ugh

I am grateful for a good night's sleep. I could have totally slept longer if I didn't understand how long it takes to get ready and do a morning routine too.

I am grateful to have my bed put away. It makes not going back to bed much easier.

I am grateful that the sheets are already in the car, and I won't forget them at home.

I am grateful for a good day. Today is a good day.

I am grateful for the childhood I survived. I posted something on Facebook a weekish ago, and during my MM meditation, I was reminded of that post. So many children who were bullied by both kids and adults don't survive, let alone thrive. Some of those that survive never really start working on the trauma.

I am grateful for EFT meditations. I was doing one this morning and focusing on why I'm not showing up for myself, and I had at least 3-4 memories show up as to why I may have some problems with showing up.

I am grateful for a day off. This is a blah day for some inner work, apparently.

I am grateful for working at keeping my clutter to the minimum, with a mantra.

for the EFT meditation that I purchased. It's honestly like allowing all those emotions that you stuff down or don't quite know how to express to come out and express themselves in a storm of any form. It's really relieving and therapeutic.

for a good night's sleep. I woke up at 808 this morning.

for the cats. I love the fact that they come into the room when I meditation and just snooze around me.

for the smell of rain. It's smells like wet earth.

for me time. I love carving out my first morning's activities just for me. Before I do anything else in the day, it's all mine.

for early mornings. Early mornings mean time to invest in myself and my own work.

for solid sleep. I woke up with my alarm and not before.

for temperature regulation. I didn't overheat last night. But that could also be due to a furry four legged cat not sleeping my my root and sacral centers too.

for journaling after meditation. It helps me remember what happened and how I feel before and after, especially with EFT meditation.



for dawn. I would rather drive to work when it's light outside. Being so far north sometimes means that will not be the case at certain times of morning.

for my cat and all her emotions. So I was gone on Sunday night, and when I came home she was pouting. Didn't want to cuddle, gut all growlly...totally not in her personality usually. This morning she woke me up because she didn't want to go ALL the way to the living room for water, she wanted to bathroom sink.

for snow. I don't have to drive in it today. We had that nice wet fluffy snow. It was all nice and bright this morning. Just the way I like it after it snows. Though I'll go out and clear off my car, so I don't have the snow tomorrow when I leave for work.

for my own room. With the exception of some strange dreams, I slept like a rock.

for books. Because you can learn or escape with a book.

for days off and good meditations. They give good contemplation spaces and places.

For lazy mornings. I turned off all of my alarms last night, and just woke up when the occasion called for it. I initially woke up I think around 6:00 or 8:00. I don't remember I know I woke up three times. Third being around 11:00. My roommate left around then. Not sure where she's going not on a calendar.

For 85% off Audible stock. Well, it was 85% off or up to 85% off on most of their stock. So most of my list was on sale. I use that opportunity to purchase the items that are saying, now. And then I went through my wish list and figured out what I really wanted on that list, and deleted the rest.

For my rent being paid in full. It's tight, but I would rather have it paid in full. Especially within the 3-day grace, then having to push off a portion of that rent to another paying cycle, which already has allocations elsewhere.

I am grateful for 39° today or it might be 37° today. If I'm going where I'm going, it may even be cooler because that's by the Riverfront in St paul. The Chris Kindle Market is going in full swing, and I'm off this weekend. And I work the next two weekends. And those would be the two last weekends for this particular market. Though I don't know that I'm purchasing anything other than maybe food, as I already know what I'm getting my niece.

I am grateful to have 4 days off. At least one of them is usually diverted to a lazy kind of blah day or morning. Where I lays about the house, and I don't do much. But the goddess is right, I would really like to get out and know people again. I am just not sure where I want to meet them at. What environment I want to go to. Why was this easier when we were kids?

For the window clings. So during covid I purchased some window clings for my bedroom window, so I wouldn't be as curious about the outside world, but also so I can walk around my bedroom with my windows uncovered in my birthday suit. That would be the main reason why I wanted those window clings. It offers an additional privacy, and still allows the sunlight to come through.

for the PureWave Massage Stick. I used it this morning to help with some soft tissue and muscular restriction throughout my chest and shoulders related to the work I did on my room on Sunday.

for a good night's sleep. I was tempted just to go back to bed when I got up, but I went ahead and put the bed away and folding things up and sat down and read some Fanfiction. Keira uploaded one of her Rough Draft challenges today in its completed form.

for our Mild winter so far. It's supposed to 40s today.

for only two people on the schedule today. I would like more, but I'm still in my flow time of the month and I don't like dividing my energy that much.

for smoothies. Fast and delicious, especially when you consume them right away.

The air. I have been sitting here doing my Miracle morning with my window open. And the air coming through the window this morning is refreshing. Because it smells like it rained last night, and the Earth is wet, and you know that sent. It's really nice.

Looking ahead. I was going to stop reading, because I get to a stopping point at the end of the time slot in which I have created by my timer, and I stop. But today I looked ahead and figured out it was a shorter chapter than usual, and I pushed through and finish the chapter. It's always a sense of accomplishment.

The library. It doesn't open today until noon. So that affords me some things that I can do in that time to prepare for that particular trip. Save some images on some documents within Google so I can then print them out while I'm at the library. I used to go to fedex, but I realized that going to the library is much cheaper in supplies than it is at fedex. Plus at the library I get the computer for an hour, and I don't charge me. Where at FedEx you get charged for the time in which you are on the computer, and the supplies in which you use.

A day off. I'm really enjoying these days where I have it scheduled off during the week. Where the rest of my week is full, and this is a day that I just took off. I want more of them.

Eating earlier in the evening. I feel better when I go to bed, if I've eaten earlier in the evening or during late afternoon. If I need a snack before bed, I usually have an apple. Especially when they're crunchy and juicy. I really do like the honey crisp, because they're just the right amount of tart. And sweet.

Last night before I went to bed, my intention was not to do any shopping today. Not to go to the grocery, not to go to Target, not to buy anything online. Not to look to be BUSY, but to take a day just for me.

When I got distracted and jumped down rabbit holes in abundance this morning, I realized that I need to be a bit proactive about this.

I've done the miracle morning before and it worked for a while, then I took a day off, that turned into another day off, and well here we are. I've done a lot of things in the past that helped, but then I would choose comfort or take a break that turned into a hiatus.

There are aspects of the Miracle Morning I still work at keeping part of my life like the mediation or journaling.

I get so distracted about the many options that I can use to improve my life that I just go the hell with it and walk away.

I also know it has to do with recognition.  When people start noticing that I'm making changes they are either for or against it.  Or they don't support or do support it.  Positive and Negative encouragement act the same way in my mind.

Meh...

I've been on the fence about renewing my Massage certification. In large part because of the direction I see my practice going and the direction I see massage going are in two different directions. Is it there yet? no. But I can see it.

So I'm not surprised when I drew this card this morning.

( Treat Your Body Well ).

I did a couple things today that were more of treating myself well, as well as not looking at too many distractions.  I went for a walk.  I donated books.  I tried to ride my bike.  It needs air, and there's a wobble in my handle bars.  I don't have the tools for that.  So I'm going to hit up my cousin who used to do that for a job before his Polaris job. 

I work at working with people I know for things that have shown good work in the past.  I like working with people I trust to do the work.  Because I know they aren't going to fuck me over later. 

It's okay to not have everything figured out.

It's even okay not to have any idea how you feel.

It's even okay if you want to roll over and go back to bed.

It's okay to take your time.

This morning during Leo King's daily astrology on the collective, he said something that was resonating with his weekly Deep Astrology as well as a book that I'm listening to.  Even if you have no idea where you are going, act as if you do.  You may not know your destination, but sometimes the destination isn't the point.  The point is the journey an the experience.  Experimenting with what feels right.

Sometimes it takes a different perspective.

One of my clients yesterday came in have a familiar pain.  He has stopped doing chiropractic, he isn't doing any of the homework, and isn't doing any of the recommendations for additional care.  He stated that he didn't want to jar the peace and painless part that he was currently experiencing.  Which is fine, the problem is part the reason he had that, was the work he was doing before.  So now the pain is back. 

I get that with a great deal of my clients/patients.  They want that happy place, and once they get it, they stop doing the things that got them there, and then the unhappiness returns, and they wonder why.

The body itself is like a computer.  It has it's own routines and habits, and when you stop doing the things that bring new routines and habits to the system, it tends to return to it's default for the lack of new input.  It requires sometimes a different look or different action or different care. 

For this particular client I notated his SOAPs stating that as long as he is not willing to take the additional care of his body and situation his condition will not improve.   I didn't list his weight as the problem, because while it is part of it, it's the other particulars that makes or breaks the cake.

Many of my clients and patients don't want to do the additional work, because they don't have the time, or it's one more thing they have to do.   But all it takes is one step, and then figuring out if it's worth it.  And usually it is.  It's just the continuation of the experiment.  Not everything works out as expected, but that's part of the journey.

Sometimes it's about finding your WHY.  The reason you do the things you do, or the reason you are doing the things you do to get to a goal or accomplish it.   Sometimes it's not the destination but the origin that is important. The idea that set you on the path.

This morning I drew the Eagle.

Eagle: See from a Higher Perspective

( Looking at things from a different perspective ).

It's interesting because I didn't think I had time for exercise.  But one morning I just rolled out of bed and started doing yoga poses and stretches.  

Then one day I realized that I was actually doing the exercise I didn't think I had time for.

This morning I listen to the Leo King in his weekly address. In his intuitive reading he has stated to allow the flow. To flow into the movement but also to flow into the things that need to be done. And it reminded me of Lomi Lomi and the fact that it is a flowing massage. That you are to flow like water or energy. And that is much easier in the flow of things in the body.

But also not to fear this flow of change. Not to think so much of all the things that need to be done, causing worrying fear, because to do this would restrict the flow. That the expectation of what was coming would cause some problems with the flow of what the universe was sending. This has come up with a lot in my intuitive readings as well, and the guidance that is channeled through for both of us.

Then I also drew The Traveler. Which is moving in a new direction. Yesterday I realized what I wanted in a partner. And it was pretty much everything Galen was not. But also realizing that I want to be the same thing to a partner. One of the things that I recall from Jeff is that he pleasured me. It was the first time ever that a man pleasured me before he pleasured himself. And I didn't understand why I didn't want to see his Parts with my parts, until several years after the relationship. I realized that the reason I didn't want to see his Parts, is because every guy that I have dated always pleasured himself before I was pleasured. And I didn't want to repeat the experience.

Yesterday I did a tapping meditation for my apathy. Today I realized it's not only apathy but also fear. I feel it in my tissues. It's all down my upper arm, that's a juncture of my wrist. It started in my back at my shoulder on the medial edge of the scapula oh, and it lowered to my lower back on the right side of my torso. During the meditation it also went further up toward the serratus anterior and out towards the medial edge of my upper arm. While I stay in the station isn't as acute as it first started, I can still feel it there. It kind of feels stuck. Like there's a band around my arm, holding a shield. The Shield of apathy, rooted in fear.

I did another round of tapping this evening on the same thing, only this time adding fear to the apathy. What I believe I did was in fear I raised a shield of apathy, that way my emotional landscape wouldn't be overran, and I wouldn't be harmed by those that wished me harm.

I love doing the EFT tapping, because doing it helps me talk and walk through things, but it also sometimes takes a life of its own. Where we start one way, and we end a different way, and sometimes longer than the actual meditation takes place. Because the meditation itself allows me to actually understand what the fuck is going on. And then I can tap on it as many times as I need to to allow that emotional landscape to clear.

Not only does it clear on an emotional level but it also clears on the physical level.

I'm realizing that I am doing too much. This has come up before as well, where in a partnership I do more than what is necessary.

When I was working through the meditation, I realize that I am holding that shield on my own and I don't have to.

I feel that this is an awesome direction to go. Because it makes me feel more alive, and it also allows me to heal wounds that I have held for a long time. To allow that pain to go. I don't have to hold it anymore. I can allow it to flow.

All through the meditation, I was yawning. There were no burps. It was the release of the energy. Which is always fascinating to have that release of energy. And emotion. It means things are working. It's always fascinating to observe.

Traveller: Move in a New Direction.

( Move in a New Direction )

This morning was tough.  I was not really motivated to get out of bed today.  I did my AM meditation and then dozed off again.

I really would like to go back to bed.

This morning I drew Mother Earth from the Angels and Ancestors Oracle.

Mother Earth: Feel Loved and Comforted.

( Mother Earth )

This is something that I miss the most about a partner.  I miss the cuddles, the hugs, or just being loved.  There are times in meditation and dreams that I feel this for myself.  And I acknowledge that I've come a long way from where I was 20 or 30 years ago.  But I've been alone for a long time, and it's hard sometimes or most of the time to step outside of my comfort zone and make more connections, because I've been comfortable with myself for some time.

Though, am I really comfortable?  Am I the comfortable that I know what I'm in right now, and don't want it worse or better? Am I uncomfortable now but not really realizing it?  Is it time to take a leap of faith? 

( Morning Oracle Draw )
I've been doing tapping for a couple weeks now.  I paid for the membership to the app after I read Tapping for Weight loss, and it's sat for a bit. But things won't change unless I chose to change them. So rather than continue and expect something different, I started engaging.

But I've been doing a couple tapping exercises to address the anxiety unease that I feel in my chest lately.  This is the first time it dissipated completely to fear in my gut then when I utilized Reiki Power symbol the fear dissipated stage left. Literally out my lower left quadrant of my abdominal cavity.