Be the Light in the Night

Positive digits with no wind chill. Our wind chill advisory is gone. Hallelujah!

Kitten gravity. My cat is very affectionate when she wants to be. It's rather spoiling. She spoils me.

Mischievous cats. So once in a while our cats get wet food. And I purchased a good shit. I don't purchase canned cat food I purchased the tuna that has very little mercury in it. And that's what they get for dinner, and then they get dry food the next day. This morning I was under the impression that the bigger cat wanted the spot in which I was still sleeping, no he was hungry, the bull was empty, and for some reason he thinks he's starving.

Cleaning clutter. I had a corner in my room that was accumulating stuff. And I cleared that yesterday.

My cousin period I always meant to Read or listen to Jesus Read or listen to Jesus and Lost Goddess. But I could never make myself do it. I have it on my audible, but it just hasn't made it into the queue yet. There's a song called the daughters. And it's about where is the god for the daughters, I know the God for the sons and I know the God for the fathers but where is the god for the daughters. Because it's the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost or holy spirit. In this book Jesus in the lost goddess, the Holy Spirit used to be sophia, which was the aspect of the goddess. And therefore there is god of the daughters. That was really mind-blowing for me today. Or last night.

Being up and dressed. I am ready for my day. I'm ready to accomplish my day. I'm ready to get shit done.

my car starting. This is always a plus and never really guaranteed. We assume, but assumption doesn't mean rock solid.

my energy banks staying relatively moderate to full for my shift. I had just enough for the people I had scheduled at work.

catching up on my notes. Since I went home early yesterday, I didn't do my notes, and that meant I had to catch up on my notes for 3 days instead of 2.

making it to 1 degree F today. We made it to the positive digits.

ginger. Ginger is my friend. It is an awesome buddy when your tummy and digestive track is not happy with you.

the rent being paid in full. My roommate paid the rent yesterday.

making the decision to stay home after work. I did some grocery shopping and went home. While I was driving home the "dandruff of satan" started falling. Since it's below 20 degrees this means the dust snow that's just enough of chaos to be a problem.

buying thermal curtains. It's supposed to get chilly and I can already feel it, so I shut the curtains tonight...all of them.

hot showers. Showers are awesome, especially when you're cold.

dining in. Because I've been getting hit by so many clue by fours, I've not been the mood to clean or cook...

water. cause seriously single digits and below zero temps makes for a dry dry world with static electricity.

Communication. I had sent an email to my landlord the day before yesterday asking questions in regards with the eviction notification. Because that puts something in physical record that we are late. Apparently the state of Minnesota passed new legislation that requires landlords to send a notification of that marriage even if you are not that late.

Alarms. I usually have two to four alarms set in the morning just on the off chance that I accidentally snooze and wake up late.

Forecasts. In regards to snow storms. It all depends on how the cookie crumbles. It depends on the moisture in the air, temperature, how powerful the storm is, whether it maintains it's density over the city, or breaks apart and goes around the city and then comes back together and goes over wisconsin. I love the snow more than I do the cold.

The seasons. I am very grateful for the location of which I live. I love the fact that I have all four seasons, well five including Construction season. But I just don't want pothole season that we had last year.

The Toys R Us song. I don't want to grow up I am a Toys R Us kid. I don't want to get up I don't want to get up I want to stay in bed.

Getting up prior to 4:30. I'm doing better this morning, I don't have this extreme urge to take a nap. My cat woke me up at 4:15 this morning. Because she wanted to drink out of the faucet. That's my own responsibility, because I taught her how to do that.

Remaining in my bed. I get to watch the cats running around like crazy little kittens. I have things to do, and I would rather not wait like I did yesterday.

A potential day off. I currently do not have anyone booked for tomorrow. I had a cancellation on thursday, and the receptionist was able to move my one appointment that I had tomorrow to the Thursday block. So I'm actually fully booked for the week from Thursday to sunday. This is good.

Using this time to come to center. Being busy can be a form of distraction. Looking for things to do, can be a form of distraction. What is important for me today to accomplish?

This new day. To experience in a new way. Maybe.


Hoar Frost from Last January.

this day. I didn't eat much, birthday cake from my niece's party. But tonight I didn't feel that I wanted to eat that heavy and had a smoothie.

doing the dishes. They have been like this pile of goo saying "well hello there, we are waiting for attention", "we're not going anywhere, but we can grow", "oh look, we've grown".

doing my daily meditation. It's always interesting to see what comes up.

making it to 3 bottles of water today. My goal is four.

being on my own, it's quiet.

The weather. Apparently it has decided that it won't be as cold next week. I am very so fucking grateful. I don't want it that cold. I want that mild wet winter they've been forecasting.

Loki. I finished the bracelet for my niece. I didn't get a measurement from her mother at christmas, so I didn't know the length, so I did the finger test when I went to their house for christmas, so I had an idea of the length that the bracelet needed to be. So I was right once I did a remeasurement of my own fingers this morning. I thought I had all the pieces to the puzzle, but I forgot the crimp cover. Which was fine, I was able to finish the bracelet without it, and if I remember next week or the week after, I'll be able to finish it for her. She likes it.

Someone else's cooking. I had macaroni and cheese, sausage, vegetables, and cake. Ironically, my knees like macaroni and cheese. It is also one of my favorites for my childhood dinners and birthdays. My other favorite is enchiladas.

It not snowing all the way home. When I left my sister's house the dandruffs of Satan were falling from the sky. So I was kind of worried it was going to be icy on the way home. But once I got out of the North metro, it was dry. Very grateful.

The co-op still being open. I had forgotten to go to the co-op on the way home last night, and I needed cilantro. So I made a point to go to the co-op on the way home tonight, to pick up cilantro.

Kitten gravity. Even though she always likes to do the holding me down bit right after my alarm has gone off and it's time to wake up and get out of bed. It's always worth the delay to have her on my chest purring kneading biscuits.

Having a list. Last night before I went to bed I took some time put a tracker in one of my journals. So I can keep track of what I'm actually doing during the day that is important to me.

Meditation. Sometimes if I don't do my morning meditation or certain aspects of my miracle morning, I feel kind of discompopulated throughout the day. Especially if I wake up late, if I'm not careful, I could be stuck in fast forward.

My roommate doing laundry and dishes. The only dishes that are left are the dishes that I create. Which would be my smoothie cups. And the Citrus squeezer.

The weather. We are still on the 20s and 30s. I am very grateful. I want a garage. So you know when it's cold outside, my car doesn't have to sit in it. And when it's snowing outside or icing, my start car doesn't have to be uncovered. It's a thought.

A good night's sleep. So I've been utilizing the self healing / healing for others introductory in my sleep. Imagining a gold ball above you. And remembering that you are loved to Cherished and supported, and then having that Divine love shower over you through you and around you while you prep for healing. In which case this case, sleep. That usually knocks me out pretty quick.

Kitten gravity. Because that will probably put me to sleep especially if she stays there.

Meal prep. If I get up and I do it right away after I get up, it seems to go much more smoothly and faster.

This weather. Honestly, I am wholeheartedly behind this cracking of the window in the middle of the winter right now. Looking at the forecast for next week, there's a lot of six. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The miracle morning. Because if I didn't make a commitment with my cousin earlier this week, I probably would have stayed in bed until 7:00.

Youtube. Apparently YouTube is going to start blocking playback for those of us who have ad blockers in our browsers. And since I use Firefox Mozilla browser, which actually inhibits playback of ads within the video, they have notified me that they will stop playback of videos after three videos. Unless I either disable my ad blocker or pay a subscription. This happens to be like the biggest blessing ever, because if I have to pay a subscription, then I won't watch youtube. That'll save time.

Time with my cousin. My cousin and I were watching unsafe and ineffective which is a documentary on the covid vaccine and the Fallout of the covid vaccine that is not necessarily covered in The Narrative of the news. And it indicates a lot of information and has a lot of information that was censored off of platforms and news media for 3 years. Kind of scary.

Lazy days. It is cooler than it was last week, but it is still warmer than it usually is at this time of year. And I am very grateful for it.

Library books. So last month I borrowed Chinese astrology from my library. And has some really good information in it. This may mean that I will take another trip to my storage unit and pull my Chinese astrology Oracle deck out. It's not a traditional deck it's actually a set of cards that shows you what your sign is and then breaks it down from the month season and day I believe. And it shows you like one area of your life that is missing or that you need work on in this lifetime which is not included I think in this book. But I'll have to read it.

I have my apartment to myself this evening. My roommate is spending the night with her boyfriend, I think he is.

follow through.  I sent a message to a long time long ago friend.  Since he's terminal now, I think it's time to say what needs to be said.  Which may not sound like a good idea, but outside of family, he's the best guy I knew.  I had a hug with him once that sparked a feeling of such joy that it surprised me and has stuck with me for decades.  I have never felt it since or prior to it.  Sometimes I chase the feeling and have yet to find it again.

readings.  Readings are affirmations.  Sometimes in tune with what we are doing.  And it's interesting to see it and feel it.

grief.  Grief is what is holding me is space. I can see it. During the reading it's like this spiked wedge in the flow.  The reader talked about cutting cords, but it's not a cord.  It's a plug, that needs to be dug out emotionally.  It's interesting because I've been working on this issue and while the feelings got better overall it's still there.  It's the new beginning of it.  Since my first new beginning without bullying ended with me being bullied because of a betrayal, it's tainting new beginnings going forward.  It's interesting.  And it brings up the healing meditation that I did for homework where my Divine Council worked directly on my Heart.  It appears more work needs to be done.

being about to record readings.  It makes it easier to digest the information.

the new year.  When is the New Year?  Is it in the dead of winter or the beginning of Spring?  Only you can decide.  This year the new year for me is a re-affirmation of an intention.  When Spring comes, it's a new year, because this is where the things that I'm working on in Winter will grow.

Taking the side roads. When interesting weather is falling from the sky the interstate is not where you want to be. Because at least on the side roads you are moving, I'll bet a bit slowly, but slowly is still flowing.

Holding my ground. To be honest I could have taken an extra client today. But I am glad I did not. Because I would not have had the spoons to do the work and the errands that I needed to do today if I had taken another client.

Deleting my comment this morning. It wasn't worth the stress. It wasn't worth the drama. And to be honest after I went to my happy place today, I didn't think about it at all.

Leftovers. Here in Minneapolis we have freezing rain. And I could order some food and have it delivered. I even would tip extra. But I have some really good spicy food in my fridge, and I can eat it.

Doing homework. In class last night we were going through how to do the laying of hands for energy work. Part of it was the visualization for preparation, and I thought that would be a brilliant guided meditation as well as to getting yourself to the point where you're going to do either the healing work or a full-on meditation or both. So I recorded a meditation in regards to that. I also did some homework from last night.

Releasing. Today when I would get stuck in an old thought process, I would turn around and go why are you here? This is not a thought process that I wish to practice anymore. This is not a behavior that I wish to practice anymore. I acknowledge your place in my life, but it is time to go. And there's so much release while I'm doing this.

the weather. I love this weather. Though it does apparently say it's supposed to snow this weekend. I'm firmly in the camp of I'll believe it when I see it camp even when the weather is "normal".

my clients. My first client is doing her homework. She's knocking it out of the park. It's great, and this is yet again what I'm looking for in my clients. The ones that are doing the work, it may not be quite what we are looking for, but they are going forward.

payday. I got paid today. That was nice.

class. It was nice. I'm seeing some of the material right now that was much closer to the classes that I took before with Margaret. I'm really happy that I was able to do some of the homework this week.

the people that shape our lives. Whether they are people that had a good or bad influence on us, we learned from the experience. I've been considering the relationships recently and realized that I need to work on my receiving. I can give, but the receiving is not on par with how much I give the world.

I am grateful for time budgets. It's helping me focus on other things that need attention.

I am grateful for window clings. I'm currently getting ready for bed with 2 lights on. You could see me if it weren't so blurry.

I'm grateful that I didn't eat much inflammatories today. My edema is mild today.

I am grateful I did my homework. It's I bit of a shock when I'm honest with myself. I'm hoping that I can put forth the effort to be in a better place this time next year.

I am grateful for left overs. I made some more stew tonight and added more onion and ginger. The ginger really finished it well. It was delicious.

Warnings. I enjoy mornings where I don't have to work, because I can catch up on the sleep that I'm avoiding during the week. No I really enjoy mornings where I can actually wake up really early, so I can do these things that are more important to me, and then I can have more of the day to play. It's interesting learning how to balance this. Because in large part I'm concerned of what people will think around me. Knowing that to make these changes, will improve my life, and improve my surroundings.

My local co-op. I enjoy supporting my local business. I enjoy supporting local farmers. It's a sacrifice sometimes because supporting my local farmers as well as my local business, comes at a price. And reading Think and Grow rich, it states within our society if you want something, you must be prepared to sacrifice. And I don't think people really realize that it ordered to do the changes that we need to do, we have to be willing to sacrifice something. That may very well be who you are today for the betterment of tomorrow. Knowing that today the changes that you make today, can help make a better tomorrow.

My car. I am always grateful for my car when it starts, when I see it out the window, and when I get from point A to point B to point C to point D and then back to point a. Because I know what it's like not to have a car.

Staying on my list. I needed a couple things this morning because I'm running low. I was contemplating going to costco, but I knew the cost would be a bit more than I was willing to pay right now. I was considering going to Trader joe's, but I didn't want to put my time out there. The co-op was awesome. And I stayed on target, and I didn't have to pay more than what I had on hand.

Blackout thermal curtains. When I first moved to the apartment that we lived in the first winter was awesome. It was fucking freezing, and it was cold outside, but the previous management company had the radiator heat on all the time. All the time. The lady that had lived in the building for like 7 years in one of the upper floors, said she never had to close a window in the winter, because it was so warm in the apartment. Leaving the apartment building was refreshing. Because it was like 90° in the building whereas outside it was like -20. So we really didn't need any trouble curtains. Then we change management. And it went from the building's owner management company to the building's owners grandson. And he put the heat on a timer. Which, diminished the 90° heat, we were grateful. But it instigated finding ways to keep the apartment warm. We started with plastic insulation. That helped but it didn't do much. Then we started with Ikea's thermal blackout curtains. Which were $20, you got what you paid for. But it helped. And then the next year I bought thicker plaster insulation, and insulated the front room, and then I got thermal curtains from Ikea same version for all of the windows, and that helped a lot. Then covid happened, and I was like I want darker curtains, or darker thermals. And I purchased these darker thermals from amazon, and it was Apples and oranges. Those curtains insulate the windows in some cases better than the plastic insulation. And they black out more light. Especially in the morning. It's awesome. But it was also a learning curve. Yep. I am also a proponent of those window clings. The ones where you can still have light coming through your window but you have more privacy when your curtains are open. So yes well worth the investment, well worth the sacrifice, for the Peace of Mind of being able to walk around your bedroom in your birthday suit.

Getting up and doing my work. By getting up after my first alarm, it does make it easier to do the work, without feeling rushed.

Doing my meditation. No while doing my meditation I have been advised that I need to do more of it. I may do a recorded meditation that is different than the one created yesterday for this morning. It was a very interesting meditation.

Wednesday. This is my monday. It's my first day of my work week. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this.

Refilling my water bottle before bed. This allows me to drink water when I wake up thirsty. And it allows me to have a water bottle ready to go when I wake up. One less thing to do in my morning.

Knowing that adulting everyday is overrated. We need to take days off of being adults.

Finally putting myself on a budget. Granted it's a time budget. Not financial budget, but I finally put myself on a budget for both social media and fanfiction. I finally started reading a book. Found out I like it.

This new day. Today is never promised, tomorrow has not happened yet, and yesterday is gone. If all I have is today, what am I going to do with it?

My bolsters. Well I'm very grateful for what they offer me, I would love to sleep in bed without them. I would love to get to a point where I can sleep in bed and not have lower back pain if I don't sleep with bullshit.

The weather that we had. To be honest I haven't had that weather for Winter since I lived in virginia. It was a, I wouldn't say a culture shock, it was a weather shock. Because I always lived in a space that had snow. Virginia wasn't as far south as I'd been, I've lived in the Rockies. I've lived in New Mexico and utah, but I went from wisconsin, to virginia, in the winter of 1990. So winter in Wisconsin in the 1990s is a completely different animal to the winter that you get in virginia. I didn't realize how much I missed it. Or at least wanting to have a winter like that once in awhile. Or it doesn't have to be as cool as it gets here in minnesota. I love the snow, but I could live without the Sub-Zero temperatures.

Kitten gravity. I really love it when my cat gets on me impose your little heart out while she's making biscuits.

Not really having anywhere to go today. Well, actually, I actually opted to do a couple errands earlier when it was not raining. I went to the library and returned three books, and I went to the natural spring and got 11 gallons of water. It was practically dead there, I wonder where everybody's at.

Sending two gift certificates to my brother for his kiddos. I feel better that I sent them, but I'm totally okay if I didn't. My brother is not toxic, he's not a narcissist, he just did something really stupid when he was a kid, never apologized for it, but I kind of know he learned his lesson. But it just doesn't sit right with me.

I am very grateful for the weather. Honestly it's Christmas Day in Minnesota and it's 53 degrees and raining. This is awesome. It's like living in Germany all over again. Granted in Germany they do get snow, but normally not as cold as minnesota.

I am very grateful to be on my own today. But my internal guidance system of time is very skewy today. And I kind of miss having people around. But I'm also very grateful for not having people around.

Flannel sheets. I changed my sheets last night. To the new set that I purchased earlier this year, it was nice.

This weather. We're actually supposed to hit 51° by Christmas Eve christmas. Though it's showing that after christmas, it's actually supposed to return to our seasonal Bowl weather. We shall see.

For my full work day. It was interesting seeing return clients as well as new clients.

For getting the worksheets done this evening, so I can drop them off tomorrow on my way to a massage and a Christmas party. Which reminds me I still need to wrap some shit.

For getting to bed by 10:30. In order to get the things done that I need to get done tomorrow, I need to be out of the house and at least to my destinations by 8:00. Before it gets too crazy.

For essentially having a 3-day weekend. I'm not doing any massage after tomorrow. Other than that one massage should I have scheduled, I'm only people in tomorrow. After that I'm off sunday, monday, and tuesday. Woohoo

metro transit. An all day pass gets me anywhere I want to go inside the Metro area, and I don't have to buy additional passes. It works all day and it runs from 4-5 dollars depending on the weekend vs weekday.

the Mall of America. I have the gifts from niece and nephew, as well as something for me.

Being home alone. The roommate is gone, and I can do some personal work, or rest. Not that I don't trust her to do these things, it's I don't don't feel comfortable when she is here while I do them, or conscious.

the sun. I was really happy this morning. I was happy this afternoon. The difference, the sun was out this morning.

Natural Spring water. I do enjoy getting my own water.

no line at the laundry. I can get in and get done, and no line or waiting other than run time.

Eating cake for breakfast. I don't feel very hot right now, and I'm hoping that I remember this feeling, so in the future when I am tempted to eat cake before breakfast, I will remember this feeling and think better of it.

Homework. It makes me feel uncomfortable to stare at myself in the mirror for 10 to 15 minutes. But then it makes me feel uncomfortable also to look at other people in their eyes as well. So if I'm not comfortable looking in my eyes, How likely is it that I'm going to make eye contact with other people. Or maybe I'm more comfortable looking at other people that I know versus who I don't know. I might get the wrong impression with a strong eye to eye contact. However, I noticed some really good vagus nerve releases during that exercise.

For an extra day off this week. I didn't have anybody currently booked for the Thursday this week, so I took it off on sunday. We're doing Yule tomorrow night, so I already put myself on a late start. But I'm in the field in space of resting more. Even though my first instinct is to run from this time, I know it is time that I need in preparation for the new year.

My intention not to set a new year goal on January 1st. Why? Because we're still in the dead of winter. And despite how deceivingly warm and mild and wet our Winter is right now, winter is usually not the time of growing season. Laying down new goals on January 1st in the middle of the time in which the season is not growing, always seems very counterproductive for me.

Vacuuming my room. I love these little tiny house pictures that are showing up in my Facebook feed. But the one thing that I really love about them, is because they're all clean. They don't necessarily look lived in. But I enjoy looking at a clear Hardwood floor. I enjoy everything having its place in a space. So if I love that type of space, I need to practice it more.

my roommate invited me to the Christmas Market. I was kind of ambivalent of going this year. But I had a lot of fun and it was so much more enjoyable than last year. They expanded the lay out, it wasn't as cold as it was last year and yeah, it was good. I got a hat, a pendulum, some more lebkukan, and the food was great. We met up with a friend and walked around.

I enjoy rough cut pendulums, but every time I went after the quartz one, the one next of it would drop. I would put it back up, go after the quartz and it would drop, like 3x. It came home with me.

We didn't have any wine or the like, we just went after food and some personal stuff for the most part, so when I got home I made some herbal tea, and I'm sipping that well.

Today was a good day. It was a really good day.

class. I do enjoy going south of the cities. When I got home from work today, I just felt that I needed to leave. So I picked up my stuff and left. I arrived down in her town 45 minutes earlier than normal, hung out till time.

the crystal store. I got a coupon this week for 25% off my order. So I knew I was going for a heart crystal. I thought it was a Rose Quartz, but it turned out to be a Garnet in Astrophylite. It called to me.

the drive. It was a really nice drive. I would consider leaving early from now on, simply for the less hassle of later in the rush "hour" time line.

rain. Not snow. Or Ice.

music. I love music. It's kinda like nature. It can say so many things that we don't necessarily have the words for.

the day. Today was a good day.

for listening to my inner knowing. This morning I and two focused massages, but when were flipped over to the back, it was a gentle more fascia and relaxing session. Both clients kinda walked out in a daze, and one dust didn't want to get up. When I got home, I got the feeling of no cooking tonight, and I ordered in - my roommate wanted to cook a hotdish tonight. After I was done with my stuff, I was agitated, so I answered the call of nature and went for a walk. I felt much better.

for getting out of the house and work on time. Got to work on time, had a breather before I got to work. Also got out of work in a timely manner and was able to go to the bank, make a deposit to pay some bills and get gas. Also followed my intuition to pick up the laundry, I'm grateful I did. Paid a bil. Gas was 2.659/gal.

for having time today. Time to center. Time to eat. Time to do things that needed doing.

for this wonderful day. We made it to the 50s today. I noticed some seeding in the sky today, and the weather forecast changed from 40s and 30s to 20s and 30s next week. Probably why I needed to take a walk.

today was a good day. I enjoyed putting my people to sleep. It was nice.

for an abundant day. Today was busy and abundant.

for a good day. Today was a good day. I was able to do my Miracle Morning, Meal Prep, have breakfast before I left the house, and have a safe drive to and from work.

for the nice temps. I do stand by that 40 degrees or even 30 degrees is different depending on the time of year.

for showers. I'm taking one before bed.

for laCrosse balls. Very painful, but helpful.

for the bar that goes across my steer wheel. I'm noticing more people have them as well.